Hope in Harlem

On this special episode, a panel of sports superstars—including NBA legends Allan Houston and Derek Anderson—as well as mental health professionals and Harlem community leaders discuss the role of resilience in their upbringings, careers, and approaches to mental and community health.  

Visit https://www.mountsinai.org/clinical-trials to see if you're eligible to enroll in a clinical trial with the Mount Sinai Health System.

Check out more episodes of Road to Resilience —as well as guest pictures, transcripts, and more— on the Mount Sinai website.

Road to Resilience brings you stories and insights to help you thrive in a challenging world. From fighting burnout and trauma to building resilient families, we explore what’s possible when science meets the human spirit.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Stephen Calabria: From the Mount Sinai Health System in New York City, this is Road to Resilience, a podcast about facing adversity. I'm your host, Stephen Calabria, Mount Sinai's Director of Podcasting.

[00:00:11] On this installment, we have a special episode of Road to Resilience, recorded live at Mount Sinai's annual Hope in Harlem conference, which brings together current and retired sports leaders, educators, mental health experts, and community partners, along with youth and youth leaders, to share best practices around innovative mental health services in Harlem and the greater New York City area.

[00:00:32] Guests include former NBA superstars, Allan Houston and Derek Anderson, two-time Olympic gold medalist Natasha Hastings, and former chancellor of the New York City Department of Education, David C. Banks, among others.

[00:00:45] The event was sponsored in part by the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, the First Corinthian Baptist Church, and the Harlem Hope Center, which supports the mental health needs of the First Corinthian Baptist Church's parishioners and the Harlem community at large. 

[00:00:59] The panel is kicked off and hosted by Dr. Sidney Hankerson, M. D., an Associate Professor and Vice Chair for Community Engagement in the Department of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. 

[00:01:11] We're honored to feature this incredible and insightful panel on our show, recorded live at the First Corinthian Baptist Church in Harlem.

[00:01:18] Sidney Hankerson: All right, so I have the privilege of being joined by an amazing New York City public school student, and we are going to introduce our panelists today. So first up, we have Allan Houston. Alan grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, in a house two doors down from Muhammad Ali. 

[00:01:38] Allan is a devoted husband, and he and his wife, Tamara, the proud parents of seven children together, and he is the founder of FISLL, a social impact brand providing experiences, services, and products that promote the values of faith, integrity, sacrifice, leadership, and legacy. 

[00:02:01] One of the things Allan is perhaps best known for is his years as a shooting guard for the New York Knicks. We got the Knicks fans in here. He is one of the all time leading scorers in Knicks history, number two in three pointers, number four in total points, and number eight in scoring average. 

[00:02:17] He's a two time NBA All Star, helped to bring home a gold medal in the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia. He is also currently the New York Knicks Vice President of Player Leadership and Development. So let's give it up for Allan Houston.

[00:02:34] Jade Sanchez: Hi, everyone. My name is Jade Sanchez. I'm in 11th grade, and I'm also I attend A. Philip Randolph. Today I'll be introducing Natasha Hastings. Natasha Hastings is an Olympic, world, and U. S. national champion track and field sprinter. 

[00:02:52] She specialized in the 404 by 400 meter relay events. She's also an influencer, entrepreneur, mom, and philanthropist. While Natasha accomplished a lot on the track, she knows that rest is just as important as exertion.

[00:03:09] She's a mental health advocate, having earned a master's degree in clinical mental health in order to help eradicate the stigma around mental health in her community. She's currently a licensed professional counselor associate working directly with student athletes at the University of South Carolina.

[00:03:28] Natasha enjoys spending time with her family and friends, especially her son, Liam. Most importantly, Natasha is a proud alumni of A. Philip Randolph Campus High School in Harlem. 

[00:03:39] Sidney Hankerson: Awesome. So next we have, Dr. William or Bill Parham. He is a professor in counseling, and the Director of Education in the Center for Trauma at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. He currently serves as the inaugural director of Mental Health and Wellness for the National Basketball Player's Association.

[00:04:03] He's also a member of the California Governor's Council on Physical Fitness and Mental Wellbeing for most of his professional career, Dr. Parham has focused on working with athletes across organizations, the NBA, the NFL, major league baseball, and United States tennis, just to name a few. Much of his work focuses on trauma, which is an unfortunate experience of many athletes.

[00:04:31] Let's give it up for Dr. Parham.

[00:04:33] And our last panelist is Derek Anderson, who is also a native of Louisville, Kentucky. Derek won a NCAA basketball championship at the University of Kentucky and an NBA championship with the Miami Heat. During his NBA career, Derrick established himself as an elite scorer and defender.

[00:04:56] He was one of the first players handpicked by Michael Jordan to be a Jordan brand ambassador. He is an international speaker, and his book, Stamina, is an Amazon number one bestseller. 

[00:05:11] Derrick has been awarded the United Nations Humanitarian Award for his philanthropic efforts, and he continues his work empowering youth through college scholarships and life skills job training.

[00:05:24] So let's put a warm Hope in Harlem welcome for our panelists and thank Jade, our student from A. Phillip Randolph in Harlem.

[00:05:32] So thank you all again, I know how busy each of you are, for taking time to be a part of this event. So this first question is for all of you. And we'll start from Alan and come down, could each of you share some of the childhood experiences and maybe some of the challenges that you may be experienced in childhood that really fueled your passion for sports?

[00:05:58] Allan Houston: Well, first of all, this is an honor to be here. Thank you so much for putting this on. I gotta start with before I'm a child because my wife, I always gotta give honor to her. We just celebrated 28 years two weeks ago. And we have seven children.

[00:06:16] So I was on a call this morning and I was explaining this and the guy said, is this by the same woman? Did you see the same woman? He said, yes, same woman. We're still together.

[00:06:24] So I think for me it's especially, passionate because now we can see it from both lenses, right? We can see it from our children, growing up in Louisville, Kentucky, Derek and I, we feel like we came from a rich soil, right?

[00:06:42] We got to see a lot of greatness. My father was my basketball coach growing up and, I was around sports. Before I even really understood my passion for it. I saw so much, passion that he had for pouring into young people. My mother was, uh, they were both educators. So by the time I really understood my passion for it, you heard the two young ladies who so eloquently talked about the need for support.

[00:07:09] And a great foundation. I was able to have that. And I felt like no matter how good I was going to be, I felt like I mattered. I felt like I was valued. I felt like I was loved. And then I got to see the actual tools that went into producing greatness..

[00:07:27] So mental health, I think where it really kicked in for me was basketball gave me something. When I was in high school, I was, really skinny, I really wasn't a guy that I, to be honest, I felt really great about myself, but the game made me feel good about myself. 

[00:07:48] And, I was able to express myself through the game of basketball. And then when you put the work in and you get better, you start to understand, Oh, okay, this could be something that I could be good at.

[00:07:59] When I was a junior in high school, I had a bleeding ulcer. I was growing fast. I was taking a lot of medicine. I had to sit out of, I had to sit out a while and I almost, I had to go to the hospital. That was something that kind of really affected me because you start to think about the impact of what the sport really is on you physically, but not just mentally.

[00:08:19] But all in all, I think the level of support, that I felt like I got really impacted me. I felt like I mattered. I felt like, no matter how good I was, I had that support system and then my faith. I think, we grew up in a part of Louisville where faith was very important.

[00:08:41] And so no matter what happened to my mother would always use these terms and plant these seeds of faith that no matter what happened, everything is going to be okay. And so that was really fixed in my mind, no matter what happened. 

[00:08:57] Even when I had to go to the hospital, receive a pint of blood and I was passed out. I just had in my mind that eventually it's going to be okay. And that really was like, became the soil and the foundation, of my being no matter what happened. So I think that's really where I talk about mental health, but spiritual health is such an important topic for us to combine and talk about.

[00:09:20] So thank you for that.

[00:09:25] Sidney Hankerson: Dr. Brown, go ahead.

[00:09:26] Bill Parham: I'm the one panelist up here who was not an athlete, although I participated in sports my whole life. Family circumstances as the oldest son prevented me from engaging in that. I've always felt a part of it.

[00:09:41] Part of that feeling a part of is feeling like what I was missing and what I remember very vividly and clearly as a kid. It's seeing a lot of athletes perform what I thought at the time was magic. But I realized that it was sheer genius as I got older. 

[00:10:01] And to understand the discipline that it took for them to engage in what they were doing. When I grew up I learned that discipline is the difference between what you want now and what you want most.

[00:10:14] And they really put it together and I saw this first hand with a lot of street stars, that is what we call the back in the community. But also witnessing a lot of athletes who really just were excelling. And I had a flash when I was a kid that I didn't understand until I was, like, 30 years ago. 

[00:10:36] And the flash I saw was a lot of the kids I knew who were distinguishing themselves on the court and on the field were actually coming from pretty troubled circumstances. And I didn't quite understand, well, gosh, maybe this is just an outlet. 

[00:10:51] But I subsequently learned, and now what I teach my students. In fact, I have my students memorize this following mantra that I now invite all of you to do. Whenever and wherever shadows have been cast, it must mean that there's light nearby.

[00:11:07] Because shadows can't be cast without light. So despite the dark circumstances and challenges and tribulations, there's a light inside each of the athletes I witnessed. Athletes, there is a light inside of everybody they allowed into the circle of influence. 

[00:11:24] There's always been a light inside of me. And everybody I allow in my circle of influence and the cumulative luminance of that brightness was more than enough to light the path in which I and other athletes that I've witnessed have traveled.

[00:11:39] And lastly, that is exactly the history that has led to me working with Derek and Michael in the Player Association's Mental Health and Wellness Program. It's that we see every day evidence of stars, uh, not on the court, in their healing process. 

[00:12:01] What we also have seen is this. In the flash I had 30 years ago, which was a kid, and when I was a kid, I saw this hooper just playing out of his mind. And I thought, my goodness, I knew this person who was riddled with trauma, he and his family. 

[00:12:23] And I said, if this brother is hooping at this level, carrying around this kind of baggage, I can't begin to imagine what we would see. If he had a place to lay down his burden and begin the process of healing.

[00:12:37] Natasha Hastings: So my story is a little bit different. I was, I like to say I was born into my sport. Both of my parents ran track. My mom was actually an Olympian for Trinidad and Tobago as well. Who was and still is my biggest support. She's at home with my son right now so I could be here. 

[00:12:54] But, having joined a track team when I was just nine years old, and then here in New York City. I lived in Queens, but I commuted every day to Harlem with two backpacks. One for school, one for practice.

[00:13:08] I still remember the 6. 53 a. m. train taking off 135th Street. to walk up those steps. But anyway, sports, it gave me, number one, a sense of belonging, right? That I was a part of something. To this day, my best friends come from sport, whether it be from my childhood to running professionally.

[00:13:31] But another thing that means the world to me that I didn't realize at the time, that now I realize, was happening for me was I'm a child of divorce. And when I look back on my high school career, the year that my parents got divorced, it was actually one of my best years on the track. And that was because it gave me an outlet.

[00:13:50] We talk about what happens at home stays at home. But when I got out there on the track and I was out there with my teammates, I was out there with my coach. It was my outlet. It was my way to get away from what was happening at home. 

[00:14:03] So, I didn't know then that, with all the endorphins releasing and again, that sense of belonging, but it then would lead to opening doors for me to obviously go on and get my education, travel the world, win a few medals, and make some lasting friendships.

[00:14:19] But it's just been the gift. I say that, you know, I only retired two years ago, but it just continues to open doors. And I just appreciate that. I have this platform to use to spread the importance of sport and how it it is not only helpful, but it can be stressful on our mental health, and I know we'll get into that.

[00:14:39] But it's been helpful for me in developing my relationship with my mental health and how I get through life and the doors that it's opened for me.

[00:14:46] Derek Anderson: To Allan's point about passion, seven years ago, I was doing a foundation event, which is acts of kindness and met my wife doing the same thing. So our anniversary is next month. So my wife is in my life. 

[00:14:59] My life felt like it started at age 10, and my grandmother, great grandmother, was born in 1902, and her brother was born in 1904, and at 10 years old, a vivid conversation with them was, they both sat me down, and my older brother was 3 years older than me at the time.

[00:15:14] And he had an attitude and he was like, you're going to fix your attitude. And he was kind of like upset. And they said, the reason why we're telling you this, cause their father was walking past in a neighborhood in Alabama where they lived at the time. And they said some guys, he spoke, some people spoke to him or something.

[00:15:32] He didn't speak to him and they got upset at him and they drove, tied him to a truck and drove him and killed him. So in my mindset was, and she said, you need to keep a good attitude at all times. It stuck with me. My father wasn't in my life. My father was 6'9. He wasn't in my life. He was in the military.

[00:15:48] I didn't see him but a couple times. And he and my mother had a big argument one time. He came by to see her. Don't know what happened. They got into a big fight. He walked out. I didn't see my father for almost 20 years. 

[00:15:59] And my mother got addicted to drugs. So one day I came home. The door was locked. I fell asleep outside. Went to Winn Dixie. It's an old neighborhood where Muhammad Ali and everybody kind of grew up. 

[00:16:09] And I went there. And I remember having a good attitude, but I asked the lady to carry her bags for five or ten cents. This is 1984, 1983. And I remember asking her to carry her bags and,, took her stuff to a car, put them all in the car.

[00:16:21] She said, you're a nice young man and drove off. She didn't give me nothing. So then I'm thinking, I'm mad at my mom. I'm like, this ain't how this work, is it? And then I thought about what my grandmother and them said, my grand, my uncle. 

[00:16:34] And they said, always be polite and be kind. So the next person I went to, I said, can I carry your bags to your car for five or ten cents? And I smiled. I made 3. 00 so quick, and I kept that attitude. And I went back home. She wasn't home. 

[00:16:52] And, a few months later, I was about to be, I was 11, a little bit about to be 12. My mother, came home. The door was open. Furniture's gone. I went to my room. It was my old little counter thing and a little mattress on the bed because I slept on a mattress.

[00:17:06] My brother had ran away from home. He was three years older than me, and I didn't see my mother for several years. So she left me in an abandoned apartment, and the community wound up being a village that I needed. It's a project housing, it's core, it's noted, everything that we knew about my life was documented.

[00:17:23] I played basketball, I started sixth grade, I wound up growing to be tall, and I remember having a good attitude everywhere I went. I would go to people's houses, ask, can I carry your bags, your cars, do whatever. Learn how to cut grass, shovel snow. I did odd jobs.

[00:17:38] And at 13, a high school coach said, I give you an address to go to school. It's legal now. Wasn't then, and, I went to high school, get an address to go to high school. At a 14, I met a high school girlfriend. She was 16. I was 14. So her mother let me spend the night at their house. 

[00:17:53] After the janitor found me sleeping in his gymnasium, I slept in my high school gymnasium and stuff. I had a bench and he said, you can come spend the night, but they let me spend the night at her house and I start dating her daughter. And she gets pregnant. 

[00:18:04] I know. I thought it was doing good. And then she gets pregnant. I was born in 73 and my son, Derek Jr. Is born in 88. That's what I said. And then I went back to my old neighborhood. She gets to three months after I was born. She was arrested for shoplifting. 

[00:18:20] Her and her mother and her sister said the dead guy, they broke up. So I had to go back to my old neighborhood. The lady next door gave me an extension cord. She taught me how to change my son's diaper. She helped me out. 

[00:18:30] Again, the community helped me, but I had a good attitude, the way it worked. So, I did that for two years. I worked there. This is my schedule. Got up in the morning. Sometimes I didn't have electricity.

[00:18:39] Sometimes she was out of power, so people would knock on my door. Give me to go to school. I dropped my son off, go to school, play basketball. I worked the candy store after school and a paper route on the weekend. I did it for almost like 17 months at 18. I graduated 3. 7 GPA class president, full custody of my son.

[00:18:57] I'm 51 and I've never had alcohol. I've never smoked weed, never drink, never stolen anything. And it was because again, the village, the people that we surrounded. And like I said, my grand, my great grandmother and her brother instilled in me, habits are what you create your history, how you create your history. 

[00:19:16] So your attitude and your kindness will always get the help that you need. And I think we missed the mark on the attitude and the character of a person before we try to diagnose them. 

[00:19:29] And I think the habits that I've created helped me be who I am. And that stuck to me. And the one last thing I'll tell is this is the reason I got that Jordan contract was I tore my lay face.

[00:19:39] I went to Ohio State. One junior Olympics, MVP, all that. I tore my left ACL up in my sophomore year. Could have went to the NBA, had to wait. I went to Kentucky, won the championship. My senior year, I'm tied for the MVP of best player in the country with Tim Duncan. I tore my right ACL up. I know you, don't take me to Vegas.

[00:19:58] It's why I don't gamble. And I went to Nike, I was invited to Nike. And I walked in the room, there's Michael Jordan and Phil Knight. So I walk in, Michael Jordan says, Hey Derrick, how's it going? And I'm like, He says, how's your knees? I'm like, you know, I'm getting better. 

[00:20:12] And he says, I'm proud to see how you doing this and that. And I was like, don't want you to be the first guy represent my company. And I'm like, I said, what's the name of it? He said, Jumpman. I said, you know, I tore both knees, right? 

[00:20:22] I'm like, are you sure? And he said, that's not what I'm picking you for. He said, I had people, I asked people, I had somebody watch you on campus. They said, you were always on time. You had a good attitude and you worked hard. 

[00:20:34] So he told me, I'm picking you because of your character, son. He says, I know you represent my brand because of your character. We're missing the mark with that first before we can diagnose anything else with mental health. 

[00:20:51] We need to teach back to our habits of being kind and polite and respectful to yourself. So for me is, that's what I focus on in my foundation. And I know he hates when I do this, but I looked up to him. I wasn't over 25 all the way up until I met him my sophomore year. 

[00:21:10] And I walked past him. I said, man, that's Alan Hughes. So I went to watch him play and it's in the championship games. And he, first thing he said, what up D? And I'm like, wow, man, Allan Houston spoke to me. 

[00:21:20] But his character. Changing my life because he spoke to me. How many times you guys walk past each other don't speak to each other? Yeah, this was 1990 hate to tell your age, bro.

[00:21:36] But that remained in my mind, so now I can help the next Derek Anderson be the best version of himself. So just want to let you guys know let's focus on the good habits.

[00:21:47] Sidney Hankerson: Awesome. Awesome. Thank you all for just sharing those deep personal experiences and how they shaped who you are today. That was fantastic' 

[00:21:58] I'm do a little bit of an audible, not gonna show slides, but Dr. Parham, if you could briefly just describe for us, what is the goals of the NBA's, mental health and wellness program for the Players Association?

[00:22:14] Bill Parham: The goals are actually quite simple and they're rooted in several foundational principles. One, about this role that's been created about six years ago. Prior to that, there was no such thing as mental health for athletes. 

[00:22:28] In fact, the system of mental health, not only in professional sports, but also larger system, the system really has not failed at addressing the mental health and wellness of its folk. The system has succeeded at not addressing it. 

[00:22:45] And so we tried to change the narrative, and one of the foundations, we're going to reframe the narrative. We believe that mental health is your mental wealth. And we really want to invest in our players. Let them know they have 24 7 access to what we do.

[00:23:03] So one of the programs we started six years ago was that right now as we speak, there is a list, a directory of resources in every city where there's an NBA franchise, including Las Vegas. At any moment, we get a call. Derek and I work together in the program as well as, Michael Grennell, a licensed social worker.

[00:23:23] Anytime any of us get hit with a call from an agent, a player, they have some options in their city to talk to one of three or four different people that they interview, and it is their private space. In addition, we've created a, what we call a mental health literacy portal. 

[00:23:43] So the players can actually go in on their website under password protected, and at this point access about 90 different links of information about mental health and wellness. Because our goal is to really teach them about what are we even talking about. 

[00:23:59] And one of the points we get across, mental health isn't what we call on a dichotomous scale, either you're depressed or you're not, you're anxious or not. It really is seen on a continuum. Those folks up at the eight to ten level are actually doing quite well across areas of their life.

[00:24:15] Sport, business, relationships, etc. There's the bulk of the folk where most of us are in the four to seven range. We're actually doing quite well in most areas, but maybe one or two areas we need some more work. 

[00:24:29] Then those are under 1 to 4 range who are struggling mightily. But wherever they situate themselves, we let our players know that there is help and resources. 

[00:24:39] Because we not only want to continue to work with the folks, the guys who are 8 to 10, because it's not about obtaining mental health, good mental health is about how do you maintain it. Because there's a lot of stresses and strains. The other thing is really working with the other folks, so we have 24 7 access.

[00:24:58] We also, thirdly, have team awareness meetings. Next week, Derek and I will be back here in New York at the Rookie Transition Program, so all the rookies that get drafted, we spend three or four days with them, educating them about. 

[00:25:12] The NBA, life in the NBA, but also the importance of mental health and wellness. So there's many other things we do, but I'll just stop there for right now.

[00:25:20] Sidney Hankerson: Thank you for that, Dr. Parham. And speaking about mental health, Natasha, you are now a licensed therapist. So yeah, shout that out. So we'd love if you could just share some of what, what led you to want to go training and become a therapist?

[00:25:38] And what are some of the things that college athletes are struggling with now? 

[00:25:42] Natasha Hastings: Yeah. So kind of a long story. , I didn't really know mental health or, therapists existed, up until I got to college when my college coach recognized that I was going through some things and he was like, Hey, you should go see, , Dr. Malone on campus. 

[00:25:59] So I went and I had a couple of sessions with him. That was that. Then, I went pro. And I left college as number one in my event in the world. But things went south really quickly. 

[00:26:15] You go pro and there's no playbook. You automatically go from everything being managed and taken care of at school and then now you're a pro and you're managing your whole life and your professional athletic career.

[00:26:28] So, I ended up going to see a sports psychologist again, after not making my second attempt at the Olympics. And we started working on how I was speaking to myself and like changing, the belief that I had in myself. 

[00:26:44] My relationship with failure was another one. I was scared to take risks. But then what ultimately happened after I had my son in 2019, myself and his father broke up six months after I had my son and I'm training to do what? 

[00:27:01] Make another Olympic team. And my mom said to me, you need to get back in therapy at that point. So I'm living in Austin, Texas, and I Googled black female therapists. And another wow, like there were almost no options. 

[00:27:21] So I found someone that I started working with and a few months into the sessions, I was sitting in session and I was like, man. I think this is what I need to be doing. I think for athletes and black athletes, I think we have this double barrier, if you will, where, you know, we talk about athletes doing magic. 

[00:27:44] I like to say we're superheroes, but we're actually regular human beings dealing with stuff behind all of the big, crazy things that we do. And so also thinking about, okay, now these black athletes. don't necessarily have access or, my previous practitioners, they were all white. 

[00:28:04] So I enrolled in school while I was still competing, single mom, finished my degree last year, retired two years ago now. And I'm back at the University of South Carolina, which is my alma mater.

[00:28:17] And, they offered me a position that I accepted, and I, I joke, USC is a PWI, so they all look at me crazy because I walk down the hallways and I make no apologies about, I'm here to black up y'all space. We have 611 student athletes, of which 25 percent are black, and again, walking into the space of, I, I need help. How do I ask for help? Can I ask for help? Do I feel safe?

[00:28:45] And our mental health department has grown from when I was there, it was just that one psychiatrist that I saw now. We have a team of psychiatrists, he's still there, he's my boss now, psychologists, myself as a licensed, counselor, and we also have social workers, so mental health has come a long way in the world of athletics.

[00:29:04] But to answer your question about the challenges that I see them having, I mean, listen, they come in for everything from suicide, performance anxiety, ADHD screening, but what I found most, honestly, is that they just need to talk to someone.

[00:29:20] When I introduce myself to them, I start off by telling them, you know, I'm a former student athlete, I'm now clinically trained, so I bring the two together to meet you where you are. But ultimately, when you walk through my door, you're no longer an athlete, right? 

[00:29:33] Like I care about you as a human being. What you do out there has nothing to do with who you are in here. And just recently, when I said that, I had a student literally break down and cry in front of me by saying that. So, it's just a matter of someone to talk to, honestly.

[00:29:55] And we have bo ki ki sessions most of the time. Sometimes they're like, can I say this? I'm like, it's your session. You say, you talk about anything as long as you don't plan on harming any, anyone. We can talk about just about anything in here. It's really just conversations. 

[00:30:12] Sidney Hankerson: Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you for that.

[00:30:16] Allan, next question is for you and we're, kind of getting ready to wrap up this panel, but I would love to hear why and how you created FISLL and how you leverage the values of FISL to really empower you from the inside out. 

[00:30:33] Allan Houston: FISLL is an acronym for Faith, Integrity, Sacrifice, Leadership, and Legacy.

[00:30:40] FISLL, it was really inspired by my relationship with my father. Very prominent coach. And, our relationship was, I've, I understood later on when I really, when I got to New York, to be honest, it's really how dynamic that the experience was. 

[00:31:01] You know, I had a conversation with a couple of my teammates and we started talking about fatherhood.

[00:31:06] Some of us had just become fathers recently and the, this, the role in the process and the spiritual place that fathers should have, I left practice and I called home and I called him and I said, we really need to say something and do something. I played for him for four years of college at the University of Tennessee.

[00:31:28] And he was the first black head basketball coach in Southeastern conference history. So he was a pioneer. So when I came to the University of Tennessee, I knew that playing the game was much bigger. I had a much bigger mission and purpose. 

[00:31:42] Did I want to go to the NBA? Yes. But the lessons that I learned on a daily basis by watching him deal with adversity. We'd go to Columbia, South Carolina, go to games, go to all these places, knowing he was the first black head coach.

[00:31:55] And I was always playing not just for me, I was playing for him, I was playing for my family, I was playing for what that represented. That's it. So when we had that conversation after practice one day, we just started continuing to see how we could pour into relationships between young men and their fathers or father figures.

[00:32:15] And it came evident that it's one thing to have these conversations, but you need a framework for life. You need a lens, you need a perspective, and that's what values give us. FISLL really is a mindset. 

[00:32:29] So when I think about that, I think about the scripture that says, the Bible says that I set my mind on things above and not on earthly things. And so when I set my mind in a certain place, I kind of set the temperature of what, like Derek said, my attitude, my demeanor.

[00:32:49] I set my heart. What I want to present and it became evident that I realized that those are things that I had been hearing all this time, but I just really didn't know how to apply him in this situation.

[00:33:02] And, so mentoring, young people, even younger players and athletes became something that was very important to us. And those principles have been something that become part of your consciousness. 

[00:33:17] Having seven Children who are athletes, I find myself having this conversation every day. I have a soccer player. I have a basketball player. I have a golfer. I have a volleyball player and I have football who just played football and I have a high jumper, right? 

[00:33:33] I'm not a coach, but I feel like a coach and I feel that coaches of some of the probably the most important people in the young people in society. Why does a young student want to go to class? 

[00:33:46] Maybe, but we know they want to go compete. We know they want to go compete. We know this sports are fun. How is that coach pouring into them where it's fun, it's competitive, but I also have to drive you have to build your capacity to work? 

[00:34:03] Because confidence comes in our work, right? Confidence comes in our preparation and our work, but if you don't have the drive to put the work in, then now we have something that we have to deal with. 

[00:34:13] So, I was having a conversation with my daughter and I was explaining to her about this conference today. And she said, well, what are you talking about? I said, I remember when I came to New York and there were good days and bad days, right? 

[00:34:29] There were times when I played well, there were times when I didn't. There were times when people liked what I did and some times when they didn't like what I did. And you're going to hear about it. 

[00:34:39] I said, one time I was going through the tunnel, used to be a tunnel where all the players would go back in the same place. And this man leaned over and he said, "You're not Allan Houston. You're Allan Useless." Yeah. I didn't know whether to laugh at the time or choke them.

[00:34:54] Right. But that happened every day. And I was trying to explain to my daughter that the issue with today is we could hear that and whether we go back and choke the guy, or just go back to the locker room, it's kind of done. 

[00:35:08] I said, you guys have access to hearing that over and over and over again on your device. You don't have it. And it's not even about sports. It's about you hearing this. So I think I said, think about everything that's coming into your mind, into your soul, to your spirit on a daily basis. 

[00:35:26] And I said, we, I said, as parents, as coaches, we have to protect you from that.. So mental health and I love your comment about spirits, I mean, mental wealth because, we shouldn't be on the defense.

[00:35:40] We should be on the offense when it comes to our mental health and mental. So I think what FISLL does for me, it allows me to engage in conversations. Like Natasha was saying, let's just have a conversation about these words. 

[00:35:54] Let's just start there. Where does faith live with you? Well, how do you define it? What is the benefit of integrity? What sacrifices have you had to make? And are you going to continue to have to make, do you feel obligated to lead? 

[00:36:07] Are you a leader? How do you define your leadership style? And how do you want to be known? How do you want to show up? And if we start with like just basic questions like that, what I find is that in a second, you can kind of get into sparking to someone's spirit and giving them some tools and strategies to help them even define success. 

[00:36:29] Cause we talk about success in so many different ways. That's a whole nother conversation, right? It's successes and materials, what I have, but you know, I think that's really what FISLL has given me. We call it a lens and a mirror. 

[00:36:42] Your lens is your values, what matters to you. It is your principles. The lens from which you see yourself and how you need to operate in life. But the mirror is how are you looking in the mirror and looking at yourself through that, through those values. 

[00:36:58] So I think that's why Fizzle has been so passionate for me because it applies to everyone in every situation.

[00:37:05] Sidney Hankerson: Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. I think we could be here literally hours with you all, but I have to move on to the final question. If each of you and Derek, we'll start with you. 

[00:37:17] You just were so transparent and so poignant about telling about some of the challenges and struggles of your childhood. The Mount Sinai CEO, Dr. Brendan Carr, recently posted about what he wishes he could tell his 12 year old self. 

[00:37:32] So I'd love each of you to just give 30 seconds of what advice would you give? Or what's the one thing that you would want folks to walk away with thinking about the experiences that you had in your youth, starting with you.

[00:37:48] Derek Anderson: I would basically same way I grew up is, you listen to learn, but you feel your life with your eyes. I wasn't raised in a church, I didn't know God, I didn't know Jesus, I didn't know anything because of my lifestyle.

[00:38:00] Nobody took me to church, but the people around me showed me what that looked like. So my eyes was like, let me soak up everybody that was good, everything that was good about the world. 

[00:38:10] So when I saw somebody drinking, I saw somebody didn't, I wanted that good life as opposed to this drunk life. So to me, I would tell my younger self to keep your positive mindset going so you can eat good and not worry about starving anymore.

[00:38:24] Sidney Hankerson: Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. And Derek, I don't know. I mean, based on all the responses you got, you sound like you got a little preach at you. So, I'll just put that out there in the world. Natasha. 

[00:38:38] Natasha Hastings: I always say, the only thing worse than failure is not trying at all. By trying, you give yourself the opportunity to see if you can do it and as you figure out if you can do it, even failure is an opportunity to learn and grow and continue to do the things that you're doing.

[00:38:55] And I've had many wins with those failures actually made my wins that much sweeter because I know what I came back from and I didn't give up on myself.

[00:39:04] Sidney Hankerson: Awesome. Awesome. Dr. Parham?

[00:39:07] Bill Parham: I will end by sharing two things that I tell athletes all the time. We talked about the need to listen. And if I asked you what that means, each of you would give me a reasonable definition. 

[00:39:20] But if I were to tell you that the key to maximizing what those six letters spell is actually hidden in those six letters. Hiding it in plain sight. You see, because if you move those letters around, you come up with the word silent. 

[00:39:35] See, the best way to listen is to be silent. Shut your mouth. And observe. Do what D. A. was saying, what Derrick was saying, just listen. The other thing that I want to give a shout out to the parents, cause, and I really need you to hear this. 

[00:39:49] Everybody has an opinion, and I want the athletes to hear this as well. But I tell my kids, I tell my students, I tell athletes all the time. You need to learn the skill of how to cancel your subscription to other people's issues. 

[00:40:09] If everybody got an issue, cancel it. You paying too much money for no return. Can I get an amen? 

[00:40:21] Allan Houston: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, amen. I would say, you know, I have a thing called, learn to say no. And It's also no to yourself, have no limits, have no shortcuts, have no excuses, and have no regrets, and I think you'll be all right. Derek, go ahead, the last word. 

[00:40:48] Derek Anderson: I just wanted to say this. I made it to the NBA, did all the stuff that I had. I wasn't looking for both my parents. Neither one of them saw me ever play college, high school, pro. So I wasn't looking for my father. Twenty-something years.

[00:41:02] How come you didn't call me, man? And he said, man, I was going through my own stuff, my own demons. And I said, okay, that's okay. You know, I forgive you. We went to dinner, had to take him on a birthday event and 10 months later, he died of cancer. 

[00:41:14] I went and did that. I found my mother. She was drugged up in an alley, got her cleaned up. And after 27 years, we have Christmas dinner for the first time. It's not always about you sometimes. 

[00:41:24] Sometimes it's good for you guys to work on yourselves and go find the other people to work on because now they can create a new look on our community and create a new value. And after games, when I have bad games, I will go.

[00:41:35] I will go watch Sam for the sun. I said, because if anybody can treat Lamont that bad, I know I got a good life. So, find your happy place and smile. 

[00:41:45] Sidney Hankerson: Awesome, thank you. Let's give it up for our panelists and thank them for their time! 

[00:41:53] Stephen Calabria: Thanks again to the Hope in Harlem panel for their inspiring stories and discussion. That's all for this episode of Road to Resilience. If you enjoyed it, please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Want to get in touch with the show or pitch an idea for a future episode?

[00:42:08] Email us at podcasts at mountsinai. org. Road to Resilience is a production of the Mount Sinai Health System. It's produced by me, Stephen Calabria, and our executive producer, Lucia Lee. From all of us here at Mount Sinai, thanks for listening, and we'll catch you next time.